My first ten things!

Ten things about working in science:

1. There is almost always a chance of an explosion. And this is why your chemistry teachers made wearing lab goggles a grade. Because they KNOW THIS.

2. Sometimes your boss will ask you to wear a bunny suit in a vacuum sealed room so you can make medicine that will save people's lives. ALWAYS use the restroom first.

3. Visit the supply room often for new pens and notebooks. Scientists are just like writers in that they appreciate a good writing utensil and always carry around a notebook. TIP: Write SCIENTIFIC observations in this notebook, not just regular everyday observations because one day your boss will look in this notebook and will not appreciate to find a running count of how many times he says 'in my opinion' in a meeting.

4. Take the time to distinguish the GO and STOP buttons on the pump connected to the vat of concentrated acid.

5. There is a time and place for hijinks and fun with friends. It is not in the radioactivity room.

6. While in the lab if you: apply chapstick, remove your labcoat, hold a mug of coffee (even if you're nowhere near the actual lab bench work area), mix water and base in the wrong order, wear flip-flops, or dump a liquid of the wrong pH down the drain - you will be tackled by the science police. Consider yourself WARNED.

7. Lab meetings are the most long and most boring type of meeting ever invented.

8. When the radioactivity trainer visits your office and then all sorts of bells go off and there is all of a sudden a radioactive disaster and you are about to be whisked off by men in suits for decontamination. - don't sweat it. It is only a test and he is only just kidding.

9. Beware of the lab centipede. That is all.

10. Investigate before drinking the coffee. Scientists are good at a lot of things. Cleaning the coffeepot is not one of them.

#science #writing

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